Sunday, October 11, 2009

Should have been a comedian instead I'm working customer service

You know when your little and you think of all those things you want to be when you grow up. You know the whole: I want to be a princess. I want to be a Ninja. I want to be a astronaut. Your parents tell you, "honey, you can be anything you want to be." That's a lie. (eff you for crushing my dreams, by filling my head with your lies). There's like a zero percent chance I could ever grow up to be a ninja. People would laugh in my face if I happened to be a a dinner/ gala event and someone happened to ask me what I did for a living, and I said "oh I lurk in the shadows, and cut people with swords when they piss me off. yeah I know that sounds intense but that's my job." Yeah I don't think that is a dream people often fulfill. (but hey maybe there is some guy out there dress in a black suit, lurking in the shadows and throwing ninja stars a unsuspecting passerbys...I mean I'd probably say that's a serial killer, but hey maybe in your world your thinking, duh! that's a flippin' ninja!)

No, I think parents should promote dreams which we can attain. Next time a child says; "I'm going to be a Lion tamer" I'm going to look that kid in the eye and say, "Nae Tommy. Have you looked at your parent's. Yeah your not really coming from good crop. I hate to break it to you but I think the best you can hope for is being a 40 year old overweight bald guy who still lives at home in his parents basement. You'll probably way too obessed with star wars, play halo live with nine year old german boys who kick your butt, and your fingers with be stained orange from years of eatting cheetoes out of the bag because you were to dang lazy to put them in a bowl." Now that is a realistic dream. Something some can aspire to be. Tommy is the role model for real dreams, our American Dream.

See I always dreamed I could be a Comedian but I ended up just being person who is occasionally funny and has pretty good comments. Damn broken dreams!

Now I get to spend my days answering, "Do you work here?" ( Am I wearing the uniform Idiot? Do I have a name tag? You know what you caught. I put all this on just to fool you buddy and man did I get you good. I mean I had nothing better to do with my life then wait around for you just so I could pretend to work here) or asking people , "Can I help you find anything?" (how about a life? you look like you could use one). I think to work customer service you have to be a masochist, cause who in there right mind would subject themselves to that kind of pain everyday. I'm not exaggerating, just ask anyone who works in customer service, people are douche bags. (sorry but it's the truth)

Side note: has anyone ever noticed old people get away with pretty much everything? I mean dude they say or do something inapproriate and everyone just goes, "aww that's so sad, he's crazy" or "It's alright she's old". Oh yeah, why can't I get away with that kind of stuff, why can't people say , "Oh it's alright, she's young, she doesn't understand." Forget old people and those excuses, they know exactly what there doing, unless they're actually crazy in that case that excuse is totally cool.

Anywho the end of rambles!

Peace out sucka!


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